Parents are becoming kids

And I just when thought that I didn't have enough shit going on in my life, I get 8 missed calls between 6 and 7 am while I am trying to get my kids ready. What happened? Nothing special - my father hit my mother last night and this morning left home. He through his keys into the doors and went to work. It doesn't matter who is right and who is wrong. My father whose drunk brain can't handle things or my mother, who is so needs to be on medication and has been occupied with driving my father crazy. What matters is that two people, who spent most of their life together cannot speak to each other like adults. They cannot reason with each other and it looks like they are incapable of being adults.

What does it mean for me?
I have no idea of how to deal with it and who to deal with. My father is planning to spend a night in his car, because he doesn't even want to think about coming back. My mother keeps insisting that I have to call my father and make him come back, because if he gets in trouble, it will be her responsibility.

I offered my father to stay with us. We live in one bedroom and I am still yet to figure out where to put him to sleep. All I am asking of him is not to drink and he cannot guarantee it. And I just want to be able to breath in my home. Cannot stand a smell of alcohol...

What da fuck am I supposed to do?

Totally Loosing it

I used to be happy. I was cheery and had a lot of friends. I had places to go and people to meet. And everything was easy. What happened to me? I am miserable, so so miserable! I just want to complain to somebody and have nobody to complain to. I am sitting at my desk doing my work and can hardly hold myself down from screaming and throwing things. I am so mad, so freaking mad. I know I have a beautiful kids and loving husband, but do I want to cry? Wow, I am actually crying.
I might not be happy with my living arrangements and my financial situation, but this is not why I am mad. Than why the hell am I so mad? Over nothing - collection notice from the magazine (because what the hell! I don’t even want their stinking magazine in the first place) and my cousin scheduling her own birthday party instead of doing it with me (she has a right to do it, but still, what the hell).

I am just tired and want somebody else to take care of me for a change. Forget my husband’s dirty socks (he just can’t find any better place than all over the living room) and noodles on the kitchen floor (that will not change any time soon – courtesy of my 1 year old) – I just need a breath of fresh air and not obligations to anybody else for an hour once in a while.

Take care of me! Love me! Make it better

Change

My family is about 20,000 in debt and that is about to change.

How did we get here?
I don't spoil myself with spas and expensive clothes. I never did. I always stayed away from the expensive restaurants and practically never paid a full price for anything. Sure I had my history of mistakes - I wasn't ambitious enough to look for a better paying job and I rewarded my family with few vacations we couldn't afford.

Why change now?
Now it is not just about two of us. We have 1 year old boy and 2 year old girl, who don't really care about there living arrangements right now, but they will at some point. We still live in 1 bedroom condo we bought 8 years ago (as a temporary solution for a couple years). We can't buy a house until our debt is paid.

How will it happen?
Planning, budgeting, direct depositing.
It will take me 4 years to pay off my debt, but it will take a lot less to put a system in place. First, we need to prioritize expenses going from the basic necessities to things that are not as important. That will even include small things like kids classes and money for a box of laundry detergent. Second, I need to put it in a pay schedule, so I can be sure it is possible to pay for everything with the paycheck we've got. Third, minimize the efforts by automating payments. Fourth, find simple ways to save a penny, earn an extra penny and get the most out of the penny.

Why do I need DailyWorth?
I need be accountable. When the plan is well hidden in my notebook, it is too easy to slip. I am looking for any excuse not to open the notebook and not deal with the problems I have. That is why it has to be an open book. I am sure there are a lot of women out there that are in the similar situation, need help, and looking for something they can use.

I am a full time working professional, a wife of a husband, who is never around, a mother of two busy toddlers and I am ready to make a big change! Why? Because I deserve to have a backyard.

Delayed Introduction

Image via Wikipedia

Being a mom on its own deserves a medal. Obviously I didn't think of that before, but having two toddlers around the house would do that to you. I am a professional at work making my professional decisions 8 to 5. Somewhere between 5 and 8 am a mom. I am picking up my kids and taking them to the pool, spray park to make sure they get the best out of summer. Feeding them, giving them a bath, and putting them to sleep. 8 to 12 (or whenever I pass out on my lazy boy) I am a housemaid (cook and clean), researcher/shopper (shop and compare prices and research whatever is needed), fitness room member (right on the middle living room with a help of WII remote). Or yeah, I am also a wife, but don't make me started on that. I love my husband, but most of my wife responsibilities come down to picking up his dirty clothes and washing his dirty dishes. I think all this deserves an award, but You already knew that

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I googled my ex-boyfriend

Image by Piero Sierra via Flickr

Out of nowhere I suddenly decided to Google my first boyfriend. It is been a really long time. He was a pretty boy and a complete moron, but I was naive and didn't know any better. And I managed to date him for a year before I sat down, "I am done". And he said, "Maybe I love you". And I said, "Maybe I am sick and tired of it".

So I typed his name secretly hoping that he is bold and fat and ugly. When the result came back, I had to take a very long look at Mr. Pretty. I am not sure about bold, but he is definitely fat and ugly. Standing in front of the farmhouse somewhere on the middle of nowhere.

I felt like I got my revenge for all the mean things he did years ago. Yey me!

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